Bride brings 11-month-old daughter to childfree wedding, protests when guest turns up with her 4-year-old son: 'She sat down in a chair and just watched her son run wild'

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Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Dec 10, 2024 6:00 PM EST

While it's true that weddings are usually family affairs, it's also understandable that some happy couples prefer to keep their nuptials an adults-only occasion. Kids can be a noisy and unpredictable addition to a stressful day where a lot can go wrong. Even parents who get married have their limits when it comes to bringing children along. There is a lot to consider.

This is something that one bride and groom thought about carefully when planning their wedding. They thought it was best to make it child-free, but they also decided that they wanted their 11-month-old daughter there for a portion of the reception so they could take photos. A family friend took this as a signal that her young son would also be allowed to attend, but she couldn't have been more wrong. It's fair to say that this had a big impact on how the couple experienced their special day.

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    via Shot By Ireland

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    AITA for bringing my daughter to my own child-free wedding?
    via JessieLynnReddit
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    So my husband (M29) and I (F27) just recently got married. We spend almost a year planning the perfect wedding, taking the right precautions, etc.. One of our first rules that we decided was that it was a no-kid wedding. We wanted an environment where we wouldn't have to worry about children running around, getting into things, crying, etc.. We made it very clear on our invitation that we didn't want anyone to bring children under 14. We did however decide that we wanted to bring our daughter (1
    via JessieLynnReddit
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    Honestly, I was furious. I tried to stay calm and tell her that this is a child- free wedding and she can't let her kid run around, but if she took her kid home she was welcome to come back. She started yelling at me about how since I had a kid it wasn't fair that she couldn't have hers. Her son at this point was already climbing on things, as she just let him run free. I told her that this was her last chance or she'd need to leave. She rolled her eyes, sat down in a chair, and just watched her
    via JessieLynnReddit
  • 05
    Have You Tried Not123 NTA. Your wedding, your rules. And, an unsupervised, unrelated 4 year old is very different to the bride's 11 year old daughter.
    via HaveYouTriedNot123
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    JessieLynnReddit OP 11 Month!! But also thank you, I'm just worried maybe I made it seem okay if that makes sense?
    via JessieLynnReddit
  • 07
    Have You Tried Not123 Ah, my bad. Still NTA! You don't just show up to a wedding with your kid after the invite says no kids.
    via HaveYouTriedNot123
  • 08
    guitar_vigilante I don't even know why you would want to bring your kid if you didn't have to. I told my best friend it would be fine if he brought his kid to my wedding and he was like "no way we want a break and to have fun."
    via guitar_vigilante
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    oliviamrow And why would a parent think their kid wanted to come to a wedding that explicitly has no other kids or kid-friendly activities?! I'm not a kidologist but it seems to me that even a pretty well-behaved four- year-old would struggle through an hours-long event with nothing to occupy them. Wouldn't they have more fun watching Paw Patrol or playing with a babysitter at home?
    via oliviamrow
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    BeMandalorTomad I'm going to go with NTA You never, ever assume your child is welcome to a wedding, especially a small child. Even if you know the happy couple is bringing a child of their own, it doesn't mean you can bring yours. Not to mention that your kid is 11 and hers is 4. Most 11 year olds I know can be trusted to behave themselves for a while whereas | know a lot of 4 year olds that don't know what 'behave yourself' means. That she doubled down and watched her kid run wild is a huge 'sc
    via BeMandalorTomad
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    No_Philosopher_1870 NTA. Reading the early part of your post, I figured that the baby would be there for at most an hour for picture-taking purposes. It's your wedding, so childfree me would be willing to cut you some slack on bringing the baby. An 11-month old baby is a lot less active than a 4-year old child who appears to have no discipline at all. That you put a condition of not having children under 14 on the invitation that your friends accepted should have protected you from Jessica bring
    via No_Philosopher_1870
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    1randomaustralian NTA. Bride and groom always has the right of exception to any rule they make for their wedding, ESPECIALLY for their own child that is being included in the ceremony.
    via 1randoaustralian
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    hurray4dolphins Right! Does the guest also get to wear a long white gown bc that's what the bride wore? Does the guest get to cut the first piece of cake? Does every guest walk down the aisle because that's what the bride and groom do? No, the guest does not get to do everything the bride and groom do. The bride and the guests are not equals at this party. That's ridiculous.
    via hurray4dolphins
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    Otherwise_Degree_729 NTA. I probably would reconsider the friendships. At this point is not about the rule is about the disrespect. It's your wedding, her child being there and your child being there aren't on the same universe. You wanting your child there for a couple of photos is one thing, her bringing her toddler and letting him run around free, I don't have words for it. To top it off she had the audacity to yell at you.
    via Otherwise_Degree_729
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    snarkness_monster "since I was bringing my kid, it was okay if she took hers" The difference is, it's your kid and your wedding. it wasn't fair Well, life isn't fair, Jessica. Sorry! You and your kid need to learn that now. NTA at all.
    via snarkness_monster
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    Strong Arm8734 The ONLY people exempt from a child free rule are the HOSTS. In the case of a wedding that is the bride and groom. NTA
    via Strong_Arm8734
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    Intelligent-Ad7184 No my friend did the same a few years ago. I was a bridesmaid and nobody brought their kids including me or some of the other bridesmaid, but their son was in the wedding... nothing wrong with that
    via Intelligent-Ad7184
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    Competitive_Most4622 Pretty much everyone I know has said no kids except those in the wedding/immediate family. Child that I love enough to include in the wedding (especially your own!) is very different from every child of every guest. And it's not fair to the other people who respected your rule to have let the 4yo stay.
    via Competitive_Most4622
  • 19
    Agitated Pressure521 NTA. Your wedding, your rules. Bringing your own baby isn't breaking the rule-it's the exception you made as the literal bride and mom. Jessica deciding she's a co-planner and rewriting your policy is wild. If she wanted a kid-friendly event, she could've RSVP'd no and hosted one herself.
    via Agitated_Pressure521
  • 20
    Choo_Choo444 Absolutely NTA. The nerve of some people, honestly!! It's YOUR wedding, your rules and an 11 month old isn't going to ruin anything where as a 4yr old given free rein can and will. AND your child went home after pictures, she expected to have hers there all day. How entitled! She knew he shouldn't be there but went ahead and disrupted your day anyway. Selfish, selfish, selfish! I wouldn't be speaking to her again.
    via Choo_Choo444
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    mrtnmnhntr INFO: Where were your husband and Darren in all this? Darren is your husband's friend, and surely Darren knew his wife was bringing their child to a childfree wedding.
    via mrtnmnhntr
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    JessieLynn Reddit OP Darren was there, sort of just watching on the side awkwardly. My husband was there, but we agreed that he should take the baby elsewhere until Jessica had left.
    via JessieLynnReddit
  • 23
    3batsinahousecoat NTA. Her "if you can do it so can I" attitude is flippant and disrespectful. Especially she didn't do anything to manage his behaviour.
    via 3batsinahousecoat
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    edebby NTA. Your wedding, your rules. You don't need to justify yourself to anyone as of why you decide to bring your own baby to the wedding (it's a no brainer for me). Making an exception for yourself is not only expected here, it is totally your choice even if it wasn't. Enjoy, and mazal tov.
    via edebby

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